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July 7th, 2006


04:52 am - it's funny..
how you go through those long periods of nothing really happening, then all of a sudden a lot happens in a very short period of time. That's kinda how it's been for me this past month. I met this amazing girl, and things just click. I still just have a hard time believing that she even digs me, sometimes I look at her and I think i'm going to wake up and realize that she wasn't real.

But she is,
she is very much real.

She's smart, funny, beautiful, and everything else in between. She's a writer like me, we have all the same tastes in music and movies. Everything just works.

It's hard to just sit here and write about her without just gushing about her. And at the same time I find it hard to muster up all the words to just describe her and this whirlwind of emotions i've been in the past few weeks.

I'm just glad to be happy again.
To be in a relationship again.
I almost forgot what pure unadulterated happiness was.

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May 2nd, 2006


04:01 am - time for the six month check in
I've kinda left behind livejournal and forgotten about it. I don't know, livejournal turned into this thing that became a constant reminder of bad memories. The kind of memories you wish you could lock away in a safe and then dump into the river. The kind of memories you don't ever want to go back to. I remember livejournal as my venting buddy, the thing I told everything because I had no one to talk to. Things that ended up becoming public knowledge to anyone and everyone that wanted to know. Because of this age of the internet and blogging, it seems nothing is safe, nothing is a secret anymore.

I remember logging onto livejournal late at night, on my ex's computer. To write poems, and love drunk entries to her. As i watched her sleep next to me and thought about the look on her face when she read my entry to her that next day.

And then I remember the subsequent decline and destruction of our relationship. All the bitterness, the nastiness and harsh words exchanged between us on here. Oh the days of all the livejournal drama! I thought I would never escape it, but I finally did. I retreated to myspace for my new haven. And all was good, except for the occasional flare up with the ex. We'd go back and forth on livejournal, then on myspace. I got paranoid that even if I set my entries on 'friends only' she'd still find out a way to read them, since some of my friends on here are also friends with her too, and since myspace offered more blogging security features than livejournal did at the time, thats where I went

I had all forgotten about livejournal until a couple months ago when she started commenting annonymously on my entries on here. Saying things about how happy she is now that she has someone, and what a pathetic loser I am because I have no one. It's all funny and trite really, but I think we finally decided to bury the hatchet. Of course we've agreed to do that many times before and still get into it every now and then.

Some people will just never see eye to eye, and I know as sure as I write this, she'll probably get bored one day, read it and send me a scathing email, but whatever.
Current Music: Deltron 3030 "things you can do"

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December 28th, 2005


02:53 am - cry cry cry
verybody knows where you go when the sun goes down.
I think you only live to see the lights of town.
I wasted my time when I would try, try, try.
When the lights have lost their glow, you're gonna cry, cry, cry.

I lie awake at night and wait 'til you come in.
You stay a little while and then you're gone again.
Every question that I ask, I get a lie, lie, lie.
For every lie you tell, you're gonna cry, cry, cry.
You're gonna cry, cry, cry and you'll cry alone,
When everyone's forgotten and you're left on your own.
You're gonna cry, cry, cry.

Soon your sugar-daddies will all be gone.
You'll wake up some cold day and find you're alone.
You'll call to me but I'm gonna tell you: "Bye, bye, bye,"
When I turn around and walk away, you'll cry, cry, cry,

When your fickle little love gets old, no one will care for you.
You'll come back to me for a little love that's true.
I'll tell you no and you gonna ask me why, why, why?
When I remind you of all of this, you'll cry, cry, cry.

You're gonna cry, cry, cry and you'll cry alone,
When everyone's forgotten and you're left on your own.
You're gonna cry, cry, cry.

You're gonna cry, cry, cry and you'll want me there,
It'll hurt when you think of the fool you've been.
You're gonna cry, cry, cry.

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June 19th, 2005


12:36 am - it's been awhile...
since i've been on here. i dont really update this anymore. Even though i should to help get my thoughts out and shit. But if you know me on here, then you probably got me on your myspace. i update my blog pretty regularly on there, even though it's mostly just poems that i write and put on there daily...

anyways, back to your regularly sceduled programing...
Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: The Pixies "Where is my mind?"

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May 16th, 2005


12:53 pm - Great Expectations...
Does anyone remember reading that book in high school? There was also an updated movie version of it made with ethan hawke and gwenyth paltrow a few years ago..

Anyways i've been feeling like that main character in that lately. For those that don't remember, the short version of the book is that a boy in london is growing up, he does liek chores and stuff for this old mean lady down the street. Mostly the chore is hanging out with this little bratty girl who the old lady adopted... nevertheless when this boy grows up into an adult he gets a benefactor, someone just randomly sending him money, helping him get into the best school in town and whatnot...he always assumes it's this old lady acting as his benefactor since he helped her out when he was a boy..


Recent things have happened in which i was reminded of that story... basically my dad knows this old lady. He worked on her car last summer, and charged her next to nothing to do it. Apparently he did such a good job, and she was impressed with my dad and his honesty, she's been giving him all this free crap. Like a 500 dollar fax machine and ink and all sorts of other stuff.

Anyways this old lady had an aunt or an uncle that recently died and left her a trust fund worth like 50 million dollars or some shit like that... she wants to buy my dad a new brand new shop, and brand new tools, equipment and what not..

Ok. so the point of the story i'm getting to is my dad showed Pat, the old ladys name is pat. He showed her some of my writing, and she wants to send me to college to pursue it.

That makes me happy, i mean i dont know what to say about it..

good things do happen to good people.

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May 5th, 2005


02:42 am - new tatt
so after debating all this week...

i finally went and got a new tattoo,
and i think i got a new artist i can trust.

she hooked it up..

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

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and me just goofing off
Image hosted by Photobucket.com


anyways, i know some people might think the superman symbol is played out, but i think it will always be fuckin cool. And it's not so much that its cool, but as much as the symbol its self means to me, and how i relate myself to the superman/clark kent character.. yeah nerdy i know..

and christina did it all played out so i can work it in with the rest of the designs i already got goin'..

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May 2nd, 2005


10:24 pm - roger doesnt work at southern boys anymore
he started his own joint, but its not open yet..

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April 28th, 2005


03:29 am - i'm really diggin this song...
ive heard it on 94.5 a few times, but only in the middle of the night, at like 3am and shit, so i found it and downloaded it, and now i cant stop listening to it. I've been a fan of z trips for a long time



Z Trip featuring Chester Bennington
Walking Dead

(Suppose you were to die tonight. What would you say? Do you believe in life after death?)

In the chill of the night,
I can feel my heart racing,
As I run towards the light,
that seems so far away,
Wondering forever, in the darkest of shadows,
Wondering if I will ever see you again.

Wondering if I will ever see you again

I'll take your love (I'll take your love),
I'll take your hate (take your hate),
I'll take your desire.

I'll take the world,
When it turns on you (when it turns on you),
I'll set it afire.

(The walking dead, the walking dead)

Digging in the dirt,
I can feel you getting closer,
Steadying my hands through the blistering pain,
Anxiously awaiting for the earth to reveal you,
Wondering if I will ever see you again.

Wondering if I will ever see you again.

I'll take your love (I'll take your love),
I'll take your hate (take your hate),
I'll take your desire.

I'll take your heart,
I'll take your pain (I'll take your pain),
I'll bring you to life.

I'll bring you to life...

(The walking dead, the walking dead)

I'll bring you to life...

I'll take your love (I'll take your love),
I'll take your hate (take your hate),
I'll take your desire.

I'll take the world,
When it turns on you (when it turns on you).

(The walking dead, the walking dead.)

I'll take your love (I'll take your love),
I'll take your hate (take your hate),
I'll take your desire.

I'll take your heart,
I'll take your pain (I'll take your pain),
I'll bring you to life

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April 25th, 2005


09:09 pm - i got my mixes uploaded
they'll only be up for a week, but yeah check it, hot off the press


"Texas Hardcore Massacre 2K5"

http://s17.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3F6HMOS25N8D41CVBGK9ZJKTHK



"50 minute hate"

http://s21.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1G3IKDZEZG92X0H35FLJ7R6MYS


the first mix is more dutch dark shit

and the second mix is speedcore, industrial strength, ron d core shit...

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01:18 am
no need to speed off

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